Revisiting the Past

As I write my book about the violence I lived in, I am forced to revisit the past.  I see where and why I walked into it.  I remember thr feeling I had.  I never had an identity for myself and at 42 I still do not.  I was the lonely fat girl who so desired love. Mamas we have got to teach and show our children better.

I made so many mistakes on what I showed my girls on how it should be.  My examples could only be mistakes for them to learn from.  Our girls must know that love is not hard! We may have stages that we work in but loving someone should never be hard. Our sons, we must show how to be real men. Manners and respect are not options, they are a must!  

To any child, we should teach them to find who they are and be them! I became wife and mama, never just Lila.  Who am I, I ask at this age.  I find that I tell my kids this continuously now.  Seems this is more of what us females do.  We find the “man of our dreams” and we revovle everything around them, we focus on them.  Along come our kids and we focus on them.  Where are we at? We get lost in there somewhere,  but we must find and keep our identity.  To be completely happy in this life we must not forget about ourselves or we will wake up one day mad at others.  Most of the time we give up who we are because we chose to, in some cases we were forced to but for the most part we did it without anyone asking.  Living this life is not just for your loved ones, it is for you also. Do not forget about you, you deserve to dream, love, and live!